So I know guys have weird habits. Like farting in public (on purpose) and being proud of it, playing video games for days on end, being able to not recognize that the bathroom has been out of toilet paper for a month (what exactly have you been using to wipe that tush of yours?) those kind of things.
But there is another weird habit that really freaks me out. It's their ability to "connect" with other guys based on ridiculous objects or hobbies - I mean, basically, things women would never connect with each other over. Like, if some woman has a vintage Gucci bag that I am coveting from afar or one that I have as well, I am not going to go over and tell her about it in this wide eyed interest/excitement way, she would think I was some psycho who was going to pull a pair of scissors out of my bag and cut her hair off or something. So instead, I would just admire it from afar. What's the point in going out of my way to tell her I like her bag anyway? What, is she going to give it to me or something? Are we going to talk about it for half an hour? I mean really, so I acknowledge that I like it and she smiles and says thanks and then what?
But guys can bond over the dumbest stuff. Like today, husbandette and I were driving in his car. I was in the passenger seat and was sort of daydreaming, until out of the corner of my eye I catch this car pulling up right next to us and driving at the same speed and I look over and nearly fall out of my seat belt, for this crazy mid-life-crisis geek is waving furiously at us with a big grin on his face and then gives us the thumbs up. I'm dumbfounded. I'm like "hey babe, look at this freak waving at us!! What is wrong with him?! Do you know him or something?!" And husbandette responds, "Nah, he's just part of the club. We wave to each other, acknowledge." "For what purpose?" I ask...this is weird, I think.
"Because we have the same kind of car."
Ummmmmmmmm, that is the most loserish loserette thing I have ever heard. You are such a dork. Ladies can you imagine pulling up to another chick in your car and going berserk to get her attention because she is driving the same kind of car as you and that's supposed to be cool??? It's not like husbandette drives a '67 'vette or something rare. I mean, car companies churn out hundreds of thousands of cars under their name and you two dorks think you are part of some elite "club" because you both ended up on a busy highway at the same time next to each other?
I don't really have much else to say about this. But I am definitely going to keep my eye out for the next chick I find that has something "cool" to her and I'm going to test this man theory out and see just how much I can embarrass myself...of course, only if husbandette is in my company so he can witness and see what it's like to be mortified by your spouse's dorkometer rating.
Sorry love...but it's kind of funny.
But there is another weird habit that really freaks me out. It's their ability to "connect" with other guys based on ridiculous objects or hobbies - I mean, basically, things women would never connect with each other over. Like, if some woman has a vintage Gucci bag that I am coveting from afar or one that I have as well, I am not going to go over and tell her about it in this wide eyed interest/excitement way, she would think I was some psycho who was going to pull a pair of scissors out of my bag and cut her hair off or something. So instead, I would just admire it from afar. What's the point in going out of my way to tell her I like her bag anyway? What, is she going to give it to me or something? Are we going to talk about it for half an hour? I mean really, so I acknowledge that I like it and she smiles and says thanks and then what?
But guys can bond over the dumbest stuff. Like today, husbandette and I were driving in his car. I was in the passenger seat and was sort of daydreaming, until out of the corner of my eye I catch this car pulling up right next to us and driving at the same speed and I look over and nearly fall out of my seat belt, for this crazy mid-life-crisis geek is waving furiously at us with a big grin on his face and then gives us the thumbs up. I'm dumbfounded. I'm like "hey babe, look at this freak waving at us!! What is wrong with him?! Do you know him or something?!" And husbandette responds, "Nah, he's just part of the club. We wave to each other, acknowledge." "For what purpose?" I ask...this is weird, I think.
"Because we have the same kind of car."
Ummmmmmmmm, that is the most loserish loserette thing I have ever heard. You are such a dork. Ladies can you imagine pulling up to another chick in your car and going berserk to get her attention because she is driving the same kind of car as you and that's supposed to be cool??? It's not like husbandette drives a '67 'vette or something rare. I mean, car companies churn out hundreds of thousands of cars under their name and you two dorks think you are part of some elite "club" because you both ended up on a busy highway at the same time next to each other?
I don't really have much else to say about this. But I am definitely going to keep my eye out for the next chick I find that has something "cool" to her and I'm going to test this man theory out and see just how much I can embarrass myself...of course, only if husbandette is in my company so he can witness and see what it's like to be mortified by your spouse's dorkometer rating.
Sorry love...but it's kind of funny.
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1 comment:
Actually, there were only 1300 of my cars imported to the U.S. so it is actually pretty rare. The other driver was behind the wheel of an even MORE rare version of my rare "whip," so your analysis should be more introspective...
i.e. - "Why can't I be this cool?" or "How did I get so lucky as to marry a guy this cool?" or "Are we really going 110mph in sixth gear at only 2500rpm?"
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