Theme of the Week

Yeah, that's right, I'm milking it. Partly because I'm lazy, and getting old and my brain isn't as 'quick' as it once was, so I sometimes have to rely on the wit of others to get me through a rough posting period.

So thank you, Andy Rooney for this little ditty. You are a wise sage in your old years, even if your 60 Minutes bit is stale and ridiculous and the suntan lotion you have been gathering in your facial wrinkles kind of freaks me out. I apologize for that time I almost hit you when you were crossing the street on the UWS - you kind of looked like a crazy man with your CBS baseball hat and your slight hunchback. You had a furl in your lip and you looked like you had purpose. Who knew a 98 year old man could make it to the middle of the intersection so fast?

Turning 30 by Andy Rooney

This is for all you girls 30 years and over....and for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their 30's! This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes

Andy Rooney says: As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.