Vague Ass baby! Part 3

So day three and H-ette and I hop in our rental (gas prices be damned!) and head off to Sin City. We pass through the Hoover Dam on the way, and let me just tell you - if there is any anti-climax worse than that stupid Dam, I have yet to experience it. What a bunch of tourist hullabaloo. It's basically a big concrete wall. If they wanted me to be interested in it they should have at least painted the sucker pink or something. Make it at least aesthetically decent. But no. Beige concrete and a lot of it. And because there's one lane each direction to Vegas, you have no choice but to drive through this monstrosity. And it took over an hour to get through about 1 mile, because of these stupid Idiotettes pushing their kids in strollers across the street to get a closer look. It's water, people! It's a dam! It's not an amusement park, and nothing they sell in the gift shop can rival a pair of Mickey ears or one of those big foam fingers even. So stop trying to trick your kids with these lame Clark Griswald vacations and take your kids somewhere fun - like Tijuana!

We were about 2 shakes of a lamb's fume away from running out of gas as we sat there in the bull crap traffic. H-ette was not happy about it as he had tried to gauge exactly how much fuel to put into the tank to ensure arrival into Sin City on a completely empty tank, so as to not accrue fuel charges. But he was about 20 miles short. Anyone looking for a million dollar idea, put a gas station a mile south of that damn dam. You will be a gazillionaire. There wasn't one for 60 miles.

Sin City, day 1. We get to the Four Seasons (yeah, H-ette and I do it up right) and lo and behold, our room is not ready. It's close to 5 pm, two full hours after check-in time and no go. So what does the lovely lady at the desk do? Rather than tell us 'sorry, you're SOL, it will be ready when it's ready,' she sends us over to the hotel lounge, calls the maitre'd informing of our arrival, and we are seated and offered free drinks and apps on the house. Reason #1 why Four Seasons rocks. They take care of their mistakes discreetly and making guests happy with $60 worth of drinks and a plate of brie is priceless. At least for some cheap dates like H-ette and me. We milked that freebie for about an hour.

That night we headed out to see Dane Cook perform. He was the raunchiest I've ever heard him, and we loved every second of it. Boobs, butt and even BJ's. After laughing our faces off we headed off for some gambling enjoyment, of which there was plenty. H-ette won $1000 at the roulette table in about 30 seconds! It was sure to be our lucky vacay!!